9.06.2014

A Sad Day

I try not to post sad things on here, but this one is about a subject I've shared far too much to ignore. I've been trying to write this post for weeks. I've written it in my head a hundred times over and still couldn't actually type it out. Please know this is hard for me to share and I'm crying while sitting at my computer at the moment.

So here goes:
 About two months ago, we lost our precious Duncan. I've shared so much about him and Paco on the blog, many of you ask about them at shows and it seems like you know them virtually.

Duncan's had a rough road with his health since he was a pup, but always was a trooper. He had a spine injury as a pup. He's had a gland rupture several times which lead to tumors and abcesses and several bouts of antibiotics. He had a weird allergy to shampoo that made his eyes swell... He also had liver enzymes that were off the charts and could never be controlled. But right before we lost him he was diagnosed with diabetes.
 Duncan lived a wonderful 13 years and the last month or so was rough. His blood sugar was over 500 when he was diagnosed and it never went below 370 in the month after. The highest it registered was somewhere in the 670 area. He was a Cairn Terrier and little did I know that his breed as well as Schnauzers are prone to diabetes late in life, but are also insulin deficient. Well, we tried shots and different foods and everything we could think of and nothing worked. We were at the vet so much that last month, one week alone we were there 6 times. They knew us and I didn't have to sign in or anything. We'd walk in and the staff would be like, "Hey, Duncan!" We had to have him put down when his body started to shut down and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
I miss him dearly and it was honestly hard to sew after he was gone. He was the best quilting dog ever and the best companion when I was down. I didn't really realize why I didn't want to sew for a few weeks until one day I forced myself to stay home. I opened the door to my sewing room for the first time in weeks and immediately started to cry when I saw his blanket lying on the floor. And his toy under my table. That day I swear I heard him running down the hall and cuddling onto his blanket. Everyday has gotten a little easier, but he was my baby. He was my first dog. As long as Ben and I have been Ben and I, it was Ben and I and Duncan was our baby.

We still have Paco, but he's our kitty dog. We love him dearly and we've agreed (even before we lost Duncan) to not get another dog at the time. Paco is 15, mostly deaf and blind and it wouldn't be fair to him to bring a new wild dog into the house. Honestly, I want to go to the dog shelter every day. I can't because I would bring home like 5 and poor Paco wouldn't know what to do.

I guess the reason I'm telling you all this (if you're still here) is more for a closure thing for me, but also to explain if I haven't really seemed myself lately. I tried to keep this to myself, but Ben and I agreed that I shared so much about Duncan on here, I should probably share his loss too. It's been a little hard to be upbeat so many days I was just quiet.

I still have many of his toys spread around the house and I can't bear to think about moving them or throwing them away. I would love to donate them, but that would probably lead to a shelter and me bringing home a dog or 5. For now though, I take comfort in knowing the wonderful life that he and I shared, the wonderful memories that can never be taken from me and the hope that I will see him again one day. I still find myself crying in these quiet moments where a scent or a sound or something makes me think of him. So I please ask if you can, to love on your pooch a little longer today. Please give them a hug and a kiss and an extra treat for me (and Duncan). Thank you all in advance for letting me share this personal story with you and getting it out in the open. Rest in peace my little Duncan Christopher. Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you.

15 comments:

  1. I am so sorry. My little miniature pinscher Rocky also just diagnosed with diabetes recently. He is an older dog too and we have to give him insulin twice daily. He also has arthritis. I am enjoying each day as we do not know how long we will have with him. Pups live in the moment and that is the best lesson we can learn.

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  2. What a blessed long lovely life Duncan had in spite of his rough beginnings...that still doesn't make it easier when its time to say goodbye. My heart is with you sympathetically and with the greatest of understanding.

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  3. So, so sorry you lost your Duncan.....gentle hugs and prayers from Texas

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  4. What an endearing post. So sorry for your loss. I firmly believe that pets are an important part of the family and still keenly feel the loss of my sweet pup.

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  5. Oh, Rebecca, I am so sorry you lost your beloved Duncan. It is so very hard to have our four-legged family members go - they leave a hole disproportionate to their size. Their unconditional love is such a blessing. As you requested, I am tearfully cuddling my little Tara (she is confused and licking my face) and sharing a treat with her. Hugs and prayers from Washington.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your baby Duncan passing on. I know too well how they become part of your family in the same way a child does, and even more so when you have no children but them. I had 2 fur babies and know it was very hard to lose one.

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. Duncan was a family member who brought love and joy to your home so it makes sense to feel like a piece of yourself is missing. I admire your courage in not getting a new dog at this time. You can share your love with the dog you still have. He'll be blessed as he'll be getting twice the love and you'll be blessed by knowing you've given him more love.

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  8. So sorry for your loss...I listen to a program every month on WPR with the moderator and Dr Sandy Sawchuk from the UW veterinary school...re having to euthanize a pet..."Better to end their life one week early than have them suffer one more day"...we want to hang onto our pets forever but have to look at the quality of life they have left...you made the right decision...when the time is right a new dog will enter your life...

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  9. So very sorry for your loss. I too, have had to go through what you had to do with Duncan and it was so hard. Time does ease the pain of loss and I pray that you'll feel more at peace with each passing day. If you have not read the poem "The Rainbow Bridge" you should. Grab a tissue first. Hugs from Illinois.

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  10. So so very sorry to read this. I recently had to make this difficult decision for my sweet Maggie Kittie -21 years young... and I am still looking for her every time I go upstairs. Our furbabies are so very dear!

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about Duncan. Our fur babies come into our lives and add so much more than we expect. They give us unconditional love and want nothing more than to make us happy. It is so very hard to say goodbye to a member of the family who enriched our lives for so many years. Let the tears roll and take all the time you need to mend the hole in your heart. I know we all understand.

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  12. I am so sorry for your lost. It does sound like he was well loved and had a wonderful life.

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  13. Becky, I am sorry! Just reading this now and have tears running down my face. Our animal children are such a gift and then they leave a void when they're gone. I share your heartache. It is good to express your feelings. I've created memorial pieces for some of my pets, just to work through the grief. You never stop missing them, but you get to smile more often at the memories as time goes by. Sending you a big hug...

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  14. My heart goes out to you Becky. We lost our 14 year old Mini Schnauzer in May, 2014, and it is one of the hardest things to get through. I really do understand your feelings, and sorry for your loss of Duncan who you loved so much. It's been a year and we recently added a new pup to our family, not a replacement for Ollie, but because I loved him so very much. I kept two of Ollie's toys, not knowing we would be getting another puppy, I just couldn't get rid of them, and now they are Willy's favorites. I just discovered your blog today, and I will be a faithful reader.

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